For your Good

Sometimes it is easier to forget the past.

but if it is not remembered... How are we to learn? how I am to learn?

Regret is useless, there is nothing to do to change the past.

The only thing left to live is the future.

So face it with a smile on your face, strength in your heart, and with courage to guide you, and know that "all these things shall be for you good."

I need inspiration

Wow, right now I'm really confused.

I've been reading some old stuff, and I've realized I really miss Jenna. She was my best friend, and we really had something. Or I guess I thought we did, but things are different now, and I need to let go.

Brooke from 303 just had her heart broken by a jerk. We all knew he was a jerk, and none of us stopped her from letting herself get completely wrapped up into him. I feel like a douche bag for this. Now she's broken and alone, and none of us can get in. "All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse."

This poor girl is so hurt that she doesn't ever want to trust a man again. Right now she believes that love is just an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt. The sad thing is, I can't prove it wrong to her.

So i've been trying to listen to the river, but i've never been able to shut my mouth. There's something about myself that I haven't realized before: I don't let people in and love my neighbor as myself. I get scared and tell stories about me and expose myself but in all actuality I hide. I don't want to be that person.

Okay, I do let people in, but it's scary. Usually I only let one person in, and I either burn or get burned. Mostly it's get burned. I come to depend on the person with everything I am, and I think they feel the same way. I guess that works out fine for them.

You said you hate my suffering, that you understood that you'd take care of me. You said you'd always be there. where are you now?

So I've been putting my faith in my roommates, but I'm scared to get rejected if i let them see everything I am. Deep down my heart just wants to be exposed and to feel others' joy and pain. I want to understand everyone. I'm just not good at figuring it out quickly. I need to understand everything going on first, and apparently i'm not that observant.

So here I'm writing, trying to figure out what I've got. Mostly I'm full of myself and insecure. Then I'm full of desires that I'm too inhibited to pursue. I guess the future's got me worried. Most of the time I can carry myself, but right now I just want someone to walk in front and I'll follow the leader.